Demure or Brat? The TikTok Vocabulary That’s Sparking a Debate!

This past month, content creator Jools Lebron captured the internet's attention with her viral TikTok, where she shared her insights on work-appropriate hair and makeup. She described her look as “very demure and very mindful,” igniting a trend that saw viewers embracing these terms in their own videos, often to characterize their modest yet self-aware actions.

From Demure to Brat: A Contrasting Trend

The rise of “demure” and “mindful” came on the heels of a different trend initiated earlier this summer by singer-songwriter Charli XCX. Her studio album, titled “BRAT,” popularized the term “brat” to embody an effortless, unapologetic quality that many have come to admire. So, what do these contrasting descriptors really mean in our social landscape?

1. Demure: Holding the door open for classmates? That's very demure and very mindful.
2. Brat: Walking through while someone else holds the door? That’s definitely brat behavior.

Adding New Terms to Our Vocabulary

As an avid TikTok user, I find myself adopting these new expressions. They join a growing lexicon of self-identifying phrases among women, including:

• Girl Math: A humorous way to justify questionable financial choices, like buying coffee several times a week.
• Girl Dinner: A makeshift meal thrown together with a hodgepodge of snacks.
• Just a Girl: A phrase to express feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges.

However, the rise of these terms has sparked deeper questions about their implications. Are they reductive? Do they reinforce stereotypes about women? Here are some of the internal dialogues I've found myself grappling with:

Questions That Challenge Our Use of Language

As young women increasingly use these terms, it's crucial to examine their meanings and potential effects:

• Does labeling oneself as “demure” or “brat” limit personal identity?
• Does “girl math” perpetuate the stereotype that women struggle with numbers?
• Is “girl dinner” implying that women should eat less?
• When I say I’m “just a girl,” am I undermining my capabilities?
• Am I a bad feminist for enjoying these playful self-descriptors?

Voices from the Community

To gain perspective, I spoke with several peers who shared their views:

Heidi Johnson, a second-year student, sees these phrases as lighthearted ways to explain her spending habits. “When I bought my drink today, I had money on my app, so it was basically free. That’s girl math!”

Emerson Elle, a third-year student, believes the terms are not offensive. “It’s more about self-awareness, like making fun of yourself.”

Ellery Bazley, also a third-year student, points out that the “girl” aspect of these phrases is interchangeable. “I hear boys using similar terms, like ‘boy math.’ It’s about joking around being young, not just about gender.”

Are We Losing Empowerment in Our Self-Identification?

After reflecting on these insights, I’ve come to a conclusion: using these terms doesn’t make me anti-feminist. They can be empowering when embraced with awareness. When I call myself “demure” or “brat,” I recognize the multifaceted person I am beyond those labels. It’s about reclaiming these phrases and using them in a light-hearted way, rather than allowing them to reinforce stereotypes.

Being “just a girl” is a powerful statement in itself. I carry multiple identities, but embracing my girlhood is one of my favorites. It’s time we celebrate that!

What Do You Think?

• Do you believe using terms like “girl math” is empowering or reductive?
• Is there a danger in categorizing behavior as “demure” or “brat”