Domestic Violence Conversations Need a Radical Overhaul—Here’s Why

The way we discuss domestic violence is broken. Outdated narratives, victim-blaming language, and systemic biases continue to shape policies and public perception—often with dangerous consequences. It’s time for a seismic shift in how we frame these conversations.

Why Current Discussions Fail Survivors

Traditional discourse around domestic violence often reinforces harmful myths, including:

• "Why didn’t they leave?" – This question shifts blame to victims rather than holding abusers accountable.
• "It’s a private matter." – Treating abuse as a family issue enables cycles of violence.
• Gender stereotypes. – Assuming only women experience abuse erases male, LGBTQ+, and non-binary survivors.

How Language Shapes Reality

Words matter. Phrases like:

• "Domestic dispute" (minimizes the severity)
• "Passion crime" (romanticizes violence)
• "They had a troubled relationship" (implies shared blame)

...perpetuate dangerous misconceptions.

4 Ways to Transform the Narrative

1. Center survivors – Amplify their voices without judgment.
2. Demand systemic accountability – Police, courts, and media must do better.
3. Challenge victim-blaming – Call out harmful language in real time.
4. Educate early – Teach consent and healthy relationships in schools.

The Media’s Toxic Role

News outlets often sensationalize abuse cases or frame them as isolated incidents rather than a pervasive societal crisis. Responsible reporting should:

• Avoid graphic details that retraumatize
• Include resources for survivors
• Highlight patterns of perpetrator behavior

What Do You Think?

• Should leaving an abusive partner be framed as "brave" instead of "why didn’t you leave sooner?"
• Is it time to abolish "mutual abuse" as a concept when power dynamics are unequal?
• Why do high-profile abusers still receive public sympathy?
• Would mandatory abuse education in schools reduce stigma?
• Do media guidelines for reporting violence actually work?